A Frozen Sunset Moment
by katnissdoesnotfollowback
Summary: Originally written for Prompts in Panem but never submitted. Mostly canon compliant; takes place within the Mockingjay timeline. Katniss is in District 13, Peeta is in the Capitol. Both struggle with nightmares and memories they wish to forget...or to keep. Rated M for mentions of torture, disturbing but not graphic.


Katniss lies in her bed, running a pearl over her lips in an erratic rhythm. Back and forth. It's a distraction from the nightmares. She can't seem to banish them. Her heart twists in loneliness and fear. Whenever she closes her eyes, she can hear him, whispering words of comfort. She runs them through her head, trying to remember the calm of a soothing voice in the night. A voice that could banish the nightmares.

Peeta sits against the wall, banging his head on the cinder-block surface in a steady rhythm. It's a distraction from the memories. He can't seem to banish them. His brain swirls in confusion and terror. Whenever he closes his eyes, he hears the screams, thick and guttural, sees the blood. There was no point to it. He couldn't have answered their questions even if he'd had the answers.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Over and over. There was no other explanation for it. Why else make him watch? He'd yelled at them and fought against the restraints all the while. Tried to let Darius know with his eyes how sorry he was. But it hadn't helped the friendly Peacekeeper who never failed to smile and wave "Hello." The exuberant young man who was always good for a joke or a laugh.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Katniss lies in her bed, running a pearl over her lips in an erratic rhythm. Back and forth. It's a distraction from the nightmares. She can't seem to banish them. Her heart twists in loneliness and fear. Whenever she closes her eyes, she sees him, watching over her with deep blue eyes. She can sense his gaze across the miles, the unwavering stare fringed with golden lashes. She conjures them in her head, trying to remember the kindness in their depths. A pair of eyes that could banish the nightmares.

Peeta sits against the wall, banging his head on the cinder-block surface in a steady rhythm. It's a distraction from the memories. He can't seem to banish them. His brain swirls in confusion and terror. Whenever he closes his eyes, he can hear her screaming through the walls. She resisted at first. Resisted for a long time. Pain and exhaustion eventually won out and she'd caved. But it didn't make any sense, the questions they asked her. They already knew the answers. They could've just publicly executed her instead.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Over and over. There was no other explanation for it. Why else make sure the walls between their cells were so thin that he could hear her every word, her every curse, her every agonized cry. He'd waited until long after they'd left to speak to her through the wall, to make sure that Johanna was hanging in there. But he couldn't help the fierce girl with the guts to defy their tormentors at every turn. He wasn't sure if it mattered if they lived, but they were hanging on to a thin hope. The thin hope that they would not be abandoned to this.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Katniss lies in her bed, running a pearl over her lips in an erratic rhythm. Back and forth. It's a distraction from the nightmares. She can't seem to banish them. Her heart twists in loneliness and fear. Whenever she closes her eyes, she can feel him, holding her close and safe, the steady beat of his heart against her cheek. She imagines him in her head, trying to remember the strength of a sturdy pair of arms. Arms that could banish the nightmares.

Peeta sits against the wall, banging his head on the cinder-block surface in a steady rhythm. It's a distraction from the memories. He can't seem to banish them. His brain swirls in confusion and terror. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees her, but not as he remembers her. He thinks. He can't be sure anymore. Things he once thought he knew have become hazy and tainted crimson with blood. Trust, friendship, and love all blown away like ashes on the wind.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Over and over. There was no other explanation for it. He doesn't understand exactly what they are doing to him or why. He just knows what the end result will be. He is rapidly losing his mind, losing sight of who he is. He clings to one memory of her after another, only to have that snatched and twisted, distorted. A beach at night. A glistening pearl. A rain drenched cave. A hundred kisses and warm embraces. All now places of unspeakable nightmares. He thinks. He can't be sure anymore.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Katniss lies in her bed, running a pearl over her lips in an erratic rhythm. Back and forth. It's a distraction from the nightmares. She can't seem to banish them. Her heart twists in loneliness and fear. Whenever she closes her eyes, she tastes him, kissing her with soft lips. She savors them in her head, trying to remember the heat beneath their warmth. A pair of lips that could banish the nightmares.

Peeta sits against the wall, banging his head on the cinderblock surface in a steady rhythm. It's a distraction from the memories. He can't seem to banish them. His brain swirls in confusion and terror. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees her laying in the sun, head in his lap, hair tangled around his fingers, smile on her face. A frozen moment he wanted to live in forever. He clings to it like a drowning man, tells himself that if he can freeze that moment, he'll be able to remember who he is. It's what he focused on when he reached deep into his mind and reached out to Thirteen. When the guards descended and beat him bloody for his audacity.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Over and over. There was no other explanation for it. He tries to shove the memory from his thoughts when his cell door opens. Something tells him he has to clear his mind of his few remaining precious memories, the few he's sure are right. Something tells him that this is it. Today he slips into madness. He doesn't fight them anymore. There's no point. He did at first. But the result was a battered, bruised body on top of his beleaguered mind. He doesn't fight them anymore. They'll just knock him out and move him anyways. But he doesn't help either. He doesn't move his feet. They have to drag him across the floor and strap him into the chair.

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Katniss lies in her bed, running a pearl over her lips in an erratic rhythm. Back and forth. It's a distraction from the nightmares. She can't seem to banish them. Her heart twists in loneliness and fear. Whenever she closes her eyes, he surrounds her with light. She can see his smile, brighter than the sun, hear his laughter, bursting with joy. She recalls them in her darkness, trying to remember a moment in time, frozen on the rooftop. A sunset that could banish the nightmares.

Peeta sits in the chair, banging his head against the high back in a steady rhythm. It's a distraction from the memories. He can't seem to banish them. His brain swirls in confusion and terror. Whenever he closes his eyes, he hears her voice, draped in gauzy violet clouds and the scents of cinnamon and dill on his own hands, chamomile tea on hers. _Stay with me. _

Tortured- _Bang- _To- _Bang-_ Unhinge- _Bang-_ Me- _Bang_.

Over and over. There was no other explanation for it. He searches his mind for something else to think of. Anything else to think of. He screams to make the memories stop. One unending wretched wail of agony. He has to make them stop. So he holds them close, kisses them farewell, and lets them take wing on his screams. He forces himself to forget, closes the doors of his mind against their return. He forces himself to forget them in order to protect them. He forces himself to forget a silver voice, two loaves of burned bread in the rain, a bright yellow dandelion in spring, the color green, a frozen sunset moment, and a single word of reply…

_Always_


End file.
